Panadol is my friend

I really haven't been travelling well the last few days, getting harder and harder to be positive. I've even considered PND, but I think it is just exhaustion. Today was a bit of a breaking point, we had a wonderful morning but then quite suddenly I couldn't handle it anymore. Midget woke up (was woken??) and Widget kept trying to undress her. It was the fact that she kept doing it after I'd told her not to, I actually walked away because I just couldn't handle her going on and on and on. At that point she got upset, which is when I yelled at her (the first time). Why can't you do something when I ask you? Why does it have to get to the point of yelling before you listen?

So that was the first one and the afternoon sort of went downhill from there. I kept calming down and apologising to her, because nothing she did really warranted the way I was reacting and I knew it, I just couldn't deal with her being a 2 year old. But then something else would happen. And of course she was getting clingy because she knew something was wrong which made it harder.

At one stage I was in tears and she came and gave me a big hug and made me lie down on the bed so she could give me a cuddle which was lovely. Then when I was still lying there feeding Midget she got the big tub of yoghurt out of the fridge and spilt it all over herself.

I kept feeling worse and worse, luckily DH got home, I got Midget back to sleep then went and had a long bath. I was still feeling worse - you know the sort of stomach ache when you just want to throw up because you might feel better. So finally I took some panadol and half an hour later I felt much better. Not 100%, but enough that I actually managed to play with poor Widget.

So I'm going to put today down to a bug and be glad that DH is here for the weekend to help me cope. It's not the whole problem, but hopefully with some support I'll get on top of it. DH is being wonderful, he's spent the week emailing me and ducking home at lunchtime to check how I'm going and has found some people who do different craft groups for me to go to. He even came home today with all the things I'd need to go to a scrapbooking group.

So now I've taken some more panadol and I'm going to bed.