tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91789476315739721042024-03-14T00:24:52.831+09:30Family-ingWhen we were a couple I adored my husband. We worked together, played together and had a great life.
Then we had kids.
This is my thoughts, musings and passions about our new life. There is a lot of advice for new Mums out there, usually called parenting. But we are all doing much more than that, we are FAMILY-ING.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-3095886779824079612009-06-18T12:20:00.003+09:302009-06-18T13:17:29.915+09:30Shows in your eyes and purple dragons.I try not to be one of those mothers who go on about how wonderful their kids are, but today they've been pretty cool and it's fun to sit back and enjoy that. Besides, it's my blog!<br /><br />Widget comes into bed with us in the mornings, and sometimes she's a pain and sometimes she falls asleep. Today was a sleep day, and when Midget and I rolled over this little voice chirped<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#000066;">"Good morning Mummy!"<br />"Good morning, sweetheart, have you been asleep?"<br />"Yes, I've been watching a show on my eyes."<br /></span></blockquote><br />Seriously, is that not the best description of a dream you've ever heard?<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#000066;">"Did someone tell you that?"<br />"No Mummy, it's a dream. Shut your eyes ... See! there are<br />pictures!"<br /></span></blockquote><br />It's her daycare day, and she badly wants Midget to go too, so she's been prattling on about how she will look after her and<br /><br /><span style="color:#000066;"> <blockquote><span style="color:#000066;">"if the meanie boys go near her I'll say Stop! That's<br />my sister! Leave her alone!"</span></blockquote></span><br /><br />She's not convinced, but Midget and I are really enjoying our days together.<br /><br />We have a little purple rubber dragon toy that Midget is not sure about, I don't know if it is the rubbery feel or if it looks scary to a one year old. I was hanging out washing when she started calling. I went over to see her pointing at the dragon, which was lying on its side. I picked it up, so she started talking and pointing more. I patted it on the head and that really set her off. She spent a good five minutes getting closer and closer but not being able to bring herself to actually touch this thing, all the while talking away at the top of her voice. Then, she went and got another toy, and sat there poking the dragon with the toy and jumping back! She tried another one and managed to knock it over, which led to actual tears so I had to pick the poor dragon up and show her it was alright. A bit after this she got up the courage to touch it with her own finger, looking over at me every time to check that I could see what a big, brave girl she was.<br /><br />Kids - they're the real show that never ends.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-6944308618038069182009-06-14T21:02:00.004+09:302009-06-14T21:27:29.959+09:30Passive incomeSecond post on the money theme, bearing in mind this is all based on my use of Kiyosaki and I can't take any credit for it, except in the translation. Any errors or misunderstandings are mine. I am not an accountant, just someone who has been managing my money for a few years.<br /><br />In the <a href="http://familying.blogspot.com/2009/06/money-money-money-wealth.html">first</a> I talked about wealth, and concluded that it is about not having to work because you can live off your passive income. So wealth is really simple - accumulate things that give you passive income. No need to read any more! Well maybe. What is useful here is a redefinition of assets and liabilities. These are not the definitions an accountant or bank or the ATO uses, these are definitions that make it easy to think about your own finances.<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#003300;"><strong>Asset:</strong> Something that earns passive income. e.g. a rental<br />property, a book you've written, shares that pay dividends.<br /><br /><strong>Liability:</strong> Something that costs you. e.g. a negatively geared<br />property, a boat, your home.<br /></span></blockquote><br />See? Very different to your bank, which will almost certainly count your house as an asset. But your house will not help you pay your monthly expenses. Anything negatively geared will not help you pay your expenses either, because it is making a loss.<br /><br />In fact DH and I don't talk about negative or positive gearing at all - we classify our investments as in the black or in the red, assets or liabilities. If it's a liability and we can see that it's going to remain a liability, we ask ourselves exactly why we are keeping it. Most people's answer to this is that they are after the capital gain. In other words, they're gambling. They are betting that the market for whatever it is will go up. Depending on many things, that may be a good bet or a bad bet, but it is still a bet, be very clear on that. Isn't it better to have cash in hand?<br /><br />But what about taxes, you say? Negative gearing decreases your tax.<br /><br />True. Let's use some simple numbers to look at that.<br /><br />Say I make a <span style="color:#cc0000;">$100</span> loss on my negatively geared rental property. That means that I can reduce my taxable income by $100. Assuming I'm in a 30% tax bracket, that means my tax is reduced by $30. Woohoo! I made a loss of <span style="color:#cc0000;">$70</span>!<br /><br />Say I make a <span style="color:#000066;">$100</span> profit on my positively geared rental property. That means I have to increase my taxable income by $100. Assuming the same 30% tax bracket, that means my tax is increased by $30. Woohoo! I made a profit of <span style="color:#000066;">$70</span>!<br /><br />Obviously this is much simplified, there are a lot more complicated situations where your options will be different. But this week's lesson is:<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#003300;">Look for things that will make you passive income right now, today. If there isn't money in your pocket at the end of the month, why are you holding on to it?</span></div>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-27296571420452709022009-06-09T12:29:00.003+09:302009-06-09T12:34:06.927+09:30KyiveWidget has a new word. Kyive. It's heard a lot, usually in sentences like<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#003300;">"Kyive a drink?" or<br />"Kyive one of those?"<br /></span></blockquote><br />It is better than her other common word, <span style="color:#003300;">gemmia</span>, which goes down like a lead balloon. But there are beginning to be sentences where I don't recognise a single word in English, so I think it's time to slow down a bit.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-91184553609229308462009-06-08T19:34:00.006+09:302009-06-08T22:47:22.257+09:30Money, Money, Money - WealthA bit of a different one for me, I can feel a series coming on plus a shameless plug.<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#003300;"><strong>"Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by <a href="http://www.richdad.com/">Robert Kiyosaki </a>and Sharon Lechter</strong></span>. Buy it, read it, get <span style="color:#003300;"><strong>Cashflow</strong></span> the game and play it. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><div align="left">This is not because I've just read it and think it's great. This is not because I know anything at all about economics. This is because I read it many years ago and I've been following it ever since. I gave a copy to DH, who never ever reads, and he now has the whole series. He has bought them as presents for lots of friends, and especially his sons. And just say that DH and I are in a far better financial position than your average teachers, including allowing me to be a SAHM with an extremely expensive hobby (nappy businesses don't make money!).</div><br /><div align="left"></div><div align="left">So bearing in mind that all of this is just my paraphrasing and the things I've taken from his message, I'm going to start talking about the bits that have had an impact on me.</div><div align="left"></div><ol><li><div align="left"><strong><span style="color:#000066;">The definition of wealth</span></strong></div></li></ol><p align="left">Apparently this is from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckminster_Fuller">Buckminster Fuller</a>, who is fascinating in his own right. It's extremely simple and precise and makes a lot of sense. Basically, think of all your expenses. Wealth is when you can cover all your expenses from passive income. In other words, if you lost your job tomorrow, how long would it be before your expenses eat you alive? How long until you would run out of money? If the answer is never, then you are wealthy.</p> <BR> <p align="left">The philosophical reason I love this definition is because it discounts work. As I've said in previous blogs I think we put far too much emphasis on work, to the detriment of our health, happiness and families. This definition states upfront that the aim of the game is to do away with work. Or at least the need for work. If you have something you love and want to keep doing, fantastic. But I think we would all love to have the option of stopping for a while and the freedom to set our own direction.</p><BR><p align="left">The practical reason I love this definition is because it then becomes so simple to see what you have to do to achieve wealth. You either need to decrease your expenses, and/or increase your passive income. Decreasing expenses only works so far - we all need to eat. And there's not much point in not needing to work if you have to sit at home all day. So ideally there will be a bit of both.</p><BR><p align="left">What's passive income? Obviously, given I'm talking about not working, it's income you don't have to work for. So royalties, rent, dividends, interest payments, income from a business and things like that. It's the things that will still be there, paying your expenses, when you get back from your 3 month world tour. I'm discounting welfare, because that is income you have no control over. I don't think we can call it wealth if it depends on the whim of the government.</p><BR><p align="left">So how long could you live? (And no, we're not there yet, darn it.)</p>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-32898159452573242892009-06-02T12:36:00.003+09:302009-06-03T09:36:53.769+09:30Here's a clueI was just going through all the clothes drawers getting ready for winter, including DH's sock drawer.<br /><br />Here's a clue, darling, the tiny little pink socks aren't yours. No wonder I can't make pairs for Widget!<br /><br />ETA - turns out it wasn't his fault, there was a conversation this afternoon:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#003300;">DH "I don't have any socks."<br />Me "Did you look in your drawer?"<br />DH "I looked this morning, there were no socks."<br />Me "Did you look in the third drawer?"<br />DH "I have a third drawer?"<br /></span></blockquote><br /><br />Turns out this is what happens when Widget helps put the clothes away.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-39633462680066147192009-06-01T12:52:00.002+09:302009-06-01T14:08:57.094+09:30We went for a nature walk and found ...a potato and an onion!<br /><br />Someone obviously dropped their shopping on the way home :) Incidentally, it's our first really cold day, and my girls decide they want to go for a walk, what's with that? We only went around the corner and across a vacant lot, but Midget actually walked herself and Widget took her tricycle with a little basket on the back. They were so cute all rugged up, we're generally a nappy and t-shirt type of family, when we can get Widget to wear anything at all.<br /><br />I've decided that the best way to cope with Widget and come up with different things to do is to have a theme every week. Yesterday she said she wanted to go for a walk, so I thought we'd make insects our theme. It's working really well so far, she cut out and decorated a butterfly yesterday and today we glued patty pans together to make a caterpillar. Next craft activity will be a cocoon, I might use toilet rolls for her to make one, then we can talk about the lifecycle of butterflies :) <br /><br />Then today we did our nature walk, and read some books on butterflies. And this morning she discovered an earwig outside, so we spent time watching it and putting rocks in front of it or socks over it to see what it would do. We collected a whole heap of things on our walk, and I'm going to use them for something later on.<br /><br />It's just making it easier to think of different activities, instead of generic 'drawing' or 'outside.' I feel like I'm teaching again!Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-45378684635835202102009-05-27T18:20:00.006+09:302009-05-27T21:28:53.199+09:30Exquisite TimingI love my daughter, I really do. Even when I want to strangle her.<br /><br /><br />It's been a tough week (and it's only Wednesday!), DH is away and she hasn't been well. There has been no sleep between the two of them, Widget took over 2 hours to get settled in the middle of the night, then she has been coming into bed with us and generally a good time has been had by all. In retrospect buying the caffiene free diet coke was probably a mistake.<br /><br /><br />So last night I decided enough was enough, she had to sleep in her own bed.<br /><br /><br />Now to set the scene, she'd been revolting all evening. It started with tears because she didn't want to leave daycare, yelling at her sister, taking things off her, yelling at me when I didn't do what she wanted, yelling at me when I did do what she wanted. All the hallmarks of an extremely over-tired little girl. We'd finally had a good time reading books on my bed, then started getting ready. Daddy phoned, which was good, but there was another fight over her jammies, and Midget hit her head while I was trying to get Widget dressed.<br /><br />Well then I have both of them in tears, but finally manage to calm them down. We go through the toilet, drink and get Widget into bed. I say goodnight and promise faithfully that I will come back as soon as Midget is asleep, when Widget bursts into tears again. I'm pretty annoyed by this stage, but then realise what she's saying through all the sobbing.<br /><br />"But Mummy, I love you so so so much."<br /><br />Now how can you be angry about that? So I put Midget down, climbed into bed with her and gave her a big cuddle, ignoring Midget's yelling. When she calmed down I got Midget to sleep, and of course when I went and checked Widget was sound asleep. She slept through the whole night in her own bed, and we've had a wonderful day today.<br /><br />I knew babies have a wonderful sense of self-preservation, obviously it continues for a few years.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-16139861173987279772009-05-24T20:22:00.003+09:302009-05-24T21:02:47.250+09:30SurrealI'm looking at an embroidery machine and want to get one that can be serviced somewhere I go regularly, rather than being sent away. So I have two choices, the major town down the road or the city. I phoned someone in the city and was talking to them about it.<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="color:#003300;">"I'm interested in getting a machine I can have serviced easily, but I'm actually from the country."<br />"Where are you?"<br />"Tennant Creek."<br />"But that's just down the track, I thought you meant overseas."<br /></span></blockquote><br />First off, the track is NT slang for the Stuart Hwy, the road that runs from Darwin to Adelaide. So I really am just down the track.<br /><br />By 12ookm.<br /><br />Yes, over a thousand kilometres away from our nearest city, but it's considered local. We have a house there, we go there regularly, a lot of people from here do it in 2 days but we usually leave early and just do one.<br /><br />Now to put that in perspective, if we were in Victoria, 12ookm would pretty much cover the state from east to west. If we were in the UK, it just about covers the countries (England and Scotland) from north to south. If we were in the US, you could drive across 3 states, or at least across Texas east to west. But that's our nearest city.<br /><br />There are 3 other towns in the NT, Alice Springs has around 28,000, so technically it's a city, Katherine has a bit under 10,000 and Nhulunbuy has around 4000. Then Tennant has around 3000 and Maningrida about 2500, Borroloola about 1500. There are several large communities and that's it. Population of around 200 000 and bigger than the UK.<br /><br />No wonder Territorians are distinctive.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-1679951478813226592009-05-22T19:51:00.003+09:302009-05-23T08:31:01.202+09:30PLEASE write to OprahOprah Winfrey's production company has offered Jenny McCarthy her own television show. For anyone who cares about our children's health this is horrifying, as McCarthy is one of the most irrational of the anti-vaccinationists. She champions unproven and downright dangerous treatments yet is completely ignorant about health and science. Her idea of discussion is to yell down and swear at doctors, people who have spent years learning about disease and have done it because they care about children!<br /><br />In her books and videos (yes, she makes money out of this) she claims that wheat and milk affect children like marijuana, this is the level of her understanding. She originally claimed that her son was a 'Crystal child' and she was an <a href="http://skepdic.com/indigo.html">'indigo mom,</a>' however she has now changed her mind and blames vaccination for his possible autism. This <a href="http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/?p=501">blog post </a>is about her latest video and shows another letter, <a href="http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/?p=445">this </a>shows and discusses a video of her on <em>Larry King Live. </em>One of the reasons she is <a href="http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com/Jenny_McCarthy_Body_Count/Home.html">so dangerous </a>is because of her celebrity status, she is being used as a spokesperson by the anti-vaccination lobby. An author on the <a href="http://www.youngausskeptics.com/2009/05/my-letter-to-oprah/">Young Australian Skeptics</a> blog has called for letters to Oprah condemning a show for McCarthy, as have other organisations.<br /><br />We cannot allow our children's health to be under the influence of people so ignorant they don't even know what they don't know. This is my letter to Oprah, it required a bit of editing because there is only a 2000 character limit.<br /><br /><span style="color:#003300;">Dear Oprah, </span><br /><br /><span style="color:#003300;">I write as a concerned parent about the decision to give Jenny McCarthy a TV show. Your television shows are major sources mothers are turning to for the latest information and are very influential.<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#003300;">Your experiences in Africa will have given you an appreciation of the devastation of infectious diseases. They are killers of children, those who survive can be left with shattering disabilities including brain damage. It is vaccination that gives us our relative safety, not only directly but through herd immunity there is some safety for those who cannot be immunised. When people decide not to immunise it is a decision that affects other vulnerable children as well.<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#003300;">Science is our most reliable way of learning about the world. Our society is based on science – every time we switch on a TV or drive a car over a bridge, we know we are safe because science works. Science based medicine has given us treatments for cancer, diagnostic tools such as ultrasounds and the antibiotics which have saved literally millions. It has also given us vaccines, and demonstrated over and over again that they are not linked to autism. There is no link between mercury and autism, the evidence for a link between the MMR and autism was fraudulent, and you receive more antigens directly to your bloodstream from brushing your teeth than you do from a vaccination. Having an autistic child is a challenge to any family, but wasting time and money vilifying vaccines does not help those families. Let’s put that effort where it belongs – supporting autistic children.<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#003300;">Even without the evidence against her, is Jenny McCarthy a fit person to front one of your shows? Her language and behaviour are offensive, as a mother and a consumer I can’t support her. Maybe controversy sells on TV, but by shutting down discussion and refusing debate she is not helping children, she is hurting them. She supports ignorance and hatred rather than openness and learning. Is this the image you want to be associated with?<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#003300;">I can only hope that you will listen. Listen to mothers, listen to scientists, listen to people who have spent time and energy to learn. Rather than being taken in by arrogance and emotion and ultimately misusing your power and influence in a way you may come to regret.</span><br /><br />Please write your own letter <a href="http://www.oprah.com/contactus">here</a>. The more of us who write, Oprah and her production company may realise what a terrible mistake it would be to encourage those who know so little that they are truly dangerous.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-85965883803340694922009-05-18T21:44:00.002+09:302009-05-18T21:55:39.781+09:30I love my lint rollerThis is a non-family-oriented purely selfish post. <br /><br />I'm not a particularly tidy person, in fact I'm extremely messy. And I sew with fabrics such as minkee, bamboo velour, bamboo terry, and microfibre terry. If you know anything about fabrics, the first three are lint producers like you wouldn't believe because of dense pile and loops, and the microfibre is extremely 'sticky.' Add in two daughters who think my fabric boxes are treasure troves to go through and feel the pretties and all the little threads that are snipped off when sewing and scraps from overlocking and you have a recipe for disaster, or at least many hours picking threads off.<br /><br />Enter the el cheapo lint roller I recently picked up for about $2. It's one with sticky paper around the top, when it gets too fluffy you peel it off and go to the next sheet. It's brilliant, a quick wipe over my table gets all the fluff and threads, and another roll over the finished product and it's clean. Even better, Widget and Midget can both use it. Widget goes around picking things up purposely, and Midget can sit on my lap and run it over the desk copying us and being part of the action.<br /><br />If you sew, get a lint roller! Who would have guessed so much family togetherness for so little.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-55446639344913548172009-05-15T17:45:00.002+09:302009-05-15T18:13:00.968+09:30The Inigo Montoya School of Baby Signing<blockquote><span style="color:#003300;">You keep using that word. I do not think that word means what you<br />think it means.<br /><em>Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride</em></span></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote><p>It started with 'more.' Midget picked it up really quickly, unfortunately she thought it meant the frozen yoghurt iceblocks, because that's what she was always having 'more' of. No worries, after a few days she expanded the meaning to 'food.' </p><p>But then it all just got confusing.</p><p>For the past two days she has been desparately pointing to the bench. I have tried the water bottles, the grapes, the doll, the box, the cheese, the pasta, and basically everything off the bench she could possibly want. The barbecue sauce bottle sparked an interest, but everything else has been pushed away in disgust. </p><p>I've just asked her if she wants water, with a sign, so she's been standing in front of the fridge signing 'more water.' Now partly I'm shocked that she's combined two signs, but she doesn't want water, more or otherwise. I wish she'd use just one sign that we both know what it means.</p>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-21972552584613279182009-05-13T14:02:00.003+09:302009-05-13T14:03:47.027+09:30More terry flatsHow do you keep you floors clean with babies and toddlers if you don't have terry flats? We have one permanently on the kitchen and living room floor, then it's used to wipe up whatever the latest spill is.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-75537590699104383212009-05-11T21:43:00.004+09:302009-05-11T22:07:44.693+09:30Day CareWidget just spent her first day at day care all by herself ... and loved it!<br /><br />We've been going together for ages, she is on the waiting list so we are allowed to go anytime so long as I am there. So she knows all the ladies, most of the kids, and all the routines. She also knows how to deal with any problems, by telling one of the ladies if she can't solve it herself, and has practiced everything. We generally go in the morning then leave when they have lunch, and she's been hanging out to stay with everyone else. <br /><br />There still isn't a permanent place for her, but someone was away for a couple of days so they let us have the casual place. We've been talking about it over the weekend, just every now and then saying "Wow, on Monday you get to stay and have lunch with the other kids at daycare," making sure that she knew Midget and I would be leaving but emphasising who she would get to play with and some of the things she would do.<br /><br />So as soon as she got up and was properly awake she got herself dressed and ready. When we got there I explained again and checked she knew where everything was, then asked if she wanted me to stay for a little while? "No Mummy, you and Midget have to leave. I'm staying here for lunch."<br /><br />And she did! When I went back at 3pm after Midget's nap she complained and insisted that we had to stay so she could play longer, they'd only just gone outside. So we stayed another hour or so, when I finally tore her away she insisted she's going back tomorrow. Luckily she can, but Wednesday might be a problem!<br /><br />I thought long and hard before doing this, there was something that felt vaguely wrong about putting my child in care when I'm a SAHM, sort of like it's cheating. In the end I think this is actually the more 'natural' way to go, although I really really hate that as a label. In a biologically normal situation she would be living in an extended family group, with many adults caring for her or at least interacting with her even if I was the primary carer. There would also be children of a range of ages. But we live in a very small town without any relatives. We go to playgroup once a week, but that's it. There's no library session, music group, toddler gym or anything else for that age group, and she's a bit young for brownies! We occasionally get together with some of the other playgroup people, but realistically we all have small children and most have jobs of some sort. So the only people she sees are me, DH, Midget, and people at the post office and shops to say hello to, then playgroup once a week. <br /><br />She's also a bit over three and a half, so she's wanting to socialise. Any time we visit relatives she has a ball, any stray child at a park she'll try to play with. She really does want the interaction. And she's very good at it - she has great negotiating and protective skills and she's extremely caring of others, especially little kids. So I felt she was ready to try it on her own (whether I was ready is a whole 'nother question).<br /><br />And obviously she was, because today has been a roaring success. I just hope it continues this way and we can keep getting some time for her, or we'll just go back to going together (although I really enjoyed the break!).Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-40182897736051871002009-05-10T21:37:00.003+09:302009-05-10T21:44:25.612+09:30Library BagA quick project, I made Widget a library bag today. Her name is appliqued on scrap minkee, and the butterfly is a pocket for her library card. She chose the fabric and was so excited! You can't see on this photo, but the fabric has silver butterflies on it as well and I did the satin stitching with silver thread. I <em>hate</em> using metallic threads! They always seem to get caught at some stage, although I'm sort of hoping that's my machine and if I can justify getting a new one it won't happen. But I don't really use metallic threads often enough to spend hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGysQLTT13_KMhR4WOBTyMsom7Xtfcyxil76sclj5sNrvKiGJHXttw4Q2Ky1lmz-25tomzVLK9PDp74mxh_vg8BGpx2-0IU4JnkDmGnrKxU6Qu4cPSoDo89dM3EvP0NSeElTjhr_-bot0/s1600-h/library+bag.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334165895388058210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 167px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGysQLTT13_KMhR4WOBTyMsom7Xtfcyxil76sclj5sNrvKiGJHXttw4Q2Ky1lmz-25tomzVLK9PDp74mxh_vg8BGpx2-0IU4JnkDmGnrKxU6Qu4cPSoDo89dM3EvP0NSeElTjhr_-bot0/s200/library+bag.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />(I put a twitter button on last night, now to see if my coding worked!)<br /><div></div>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-49629161688308081282009-05-09T22:02:00.004+09:302009-05-10T21:45:54.646+09:30Things change when you don't notice (except I definitely noticed!)<em><blockquote><p><em><strong>Midget slept for 2 hours!!!!!!!!</strong></em></p><p><em>You have to understand my children are appalling sleepers. Actually that's not strictly true, even though Widget hasn't napped since she turned 2 she is now a very good night sleeper. So I know that the pay-off will be there if I survive long enough.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Midget is worse than Widget,</em><br /></p></blockquote></em><br />I started writing this post a week or so ago, and didn't finish it because that night was a complete disaster, involving about 3 hours of playing, crying (from both of us), DH helping, etc.<br /><br />Basically Midget is a really, really, really light sleeper, so the only way you can let go of her is to be lying down on the bed, putting her down wakes her up. And up until now she will only go to sleep by feeding. Rocking, cuddling, patting just results in hysterical screaming and throwing up. By screaming I don't mean crying, I mean the "Someone's trying to murder me!/I've just had a limb removed and am in great pain!" high pitched psycho-type scream. So we've ended up <a href="http://fusionparenting.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/shhh-i-have-a-secret/">co-sleeping and not really enjoying it</a>.<br /><br />Then a few days ago after a mini-tantrum about how I really wasn't coping, DH tried taking Midget's first wake up. Bed time is around 8pm, I'm in there for around an hour, then she will wake up anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour after that. I go back in and feed her again, and she's gradually been getting better on these later wake-ups, from an hour down to 40 minutes, down to 10 minutes and the occasional grumble and self-settle. The first time he took her there was a bit of hysteria, but she actually went to sleep with him. The second night there were 2 self settles then she went to sleep within a couple of minutes when he went in. After that she's been self-settling several times before needing help (although as I write this she's still grizzling, so I hope I'm not jinxing it).<br /><br />Last night we were up until midnight because we kept waiting for her to need us to go in!<br /><br />At the same time, I've moved her nap back an hour or so, and she's got much better with that as well. There are still the days she only does 10 minutes by herself, but there are also days she'll go straight to sleep and last for an hour. That's an amazing sleep for her, and given her performance I don't really want her to sleep longer because I don't want to mess with bedtime.<br /><br />In my mind I always expected things to get better around 12 months. (Yep, it was the light from the study causing a problem, all fixed.) You know, if I just make it through the first year it will change. Plus I saw an interview with some sleep researchers and they were saying they wouldn't expect babies to sleep through the whole night until 12 months, so it sort of stuck in my head that sleep changes around then.<br /><br />And it has. It hasn't been some wonderful technique we've tried, and there's still a long way before I'd call her a great sleeper, but it's so much better than she was. We may even get her out of the bed! It's been tough, but in the end it's just been a matter of waiting and letting her mature and be ready.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-35889030897622840262009-05-05T20:52:00.003+09:302009-05-05T21:10:05.268+09:30Finish your dinnerI'm really ambivalent about food.<br /><br />I don't have good eating habits, far too much junk, and neither does DH. I'd love, love, love to pass on better habits to the girls, but I'm not sure how so it makes me uptight.<br /><br />I'm probably middle of the road on food choices - some would be horrified, some would consider me a food nazi. But I also know that we all tend to think we're better than we are, especially when it isn't something we're an expert in, so I have this nagging suspicion I'm not really that good.<br /><br />And then it gets more complicated! <br /><br />I don't like the idea of forcing a child to finish their dinner. I figure she has a better idea of how hungry she is than I do. At the same time, Widget's track record is not that great - she doesn't eat when she's hungry, but will get rattier and rattier until we make her eat, then she feels better. So while I love the idea of her self-regulating, she doesn't do it and I don't know how to teach her. This means I'm torn at dinnertime - I want her to just eat until she's full, but I know it's a long time until breakfast.<br /><br />Then there's dessert. We never had it growing up, so it would never occur to me to tell someone to finish their dinner so they can have dessert. But DH does it all the time. It drives me mad, but I'm not going to contradict him in front of the kids. And given how well Midget sleeps it's a good night if we get 10 minutes without them, so it's not something I've remembered to talk to him about.<br /><br />Now after 3 years of Widget happily eating foods that are mostly mixed together, she has suddenly decided she wants to see each individual ingredient. It's really been coming on for a long time, but we've been resisting. Not on purpose, but it's taking a bit of adjusting to change our cooking habits so everything can be put on the plate separately. <br /><br />So I don't know whether she happily ate dinner tonight because we remembered to separate it all, or because she knew Daddy had some icecream.<br /><br />This requires more work.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-35016236190494424612009-05-03T12:16:00.004+09:302009-05-03T12:24:00.739+09:30Mouse!Not a computer one, a real one.<br /><br />When we got back from Perth there was a little mouse sitting behind my computer. In the resultant jumping, screaming and pushing the desk away it came off second best. Problem solved?<br /><br />Nope. <br /><br />We have a new mousetrap (Catch them alive humanely! So then what are you meant to do with them?) but the little bugger isn't being obliging. We have wooden furniture and the house has wooden panelling on all the walls and built in cupboards (lovely 70's stuff), so there is quite a loud echoing gnawing sound. <br /><br />They're either eating my furniture or eating the house (that we're considering buying). And so far the most effective thing I've found is to throw things at the sound and scare them.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-1513355174772805802009-04-29T21:09:00.002+09:302009-04-29T21:18:23.406+09:30Do NOT wear a wrap top when using a ring sling.I have a very nice top I made, the sort that wraps over and ties on one side with a fairly deep V-neck. So I checked it wasn't showing anything and set off for the shops, where I put Midget in a ring sling. Now if you haven't used one of these, it goes over one shoulder and Midget sits on the opposite hip, the ring should be in the 'corsage position.' <br /><br />To get her in I put her up over my shoulder, then get her feet inside the sling and slide her down to a sitting position. I hold her there and pull on the tail of the sling to tighten it, this generally pulls the ring down a bit lower. And off we went.<br /><br />It was only after we had left the shop, where I had had a long conversation with the shop assistant, that I looked down.<br /><br />To see that all that sliding down didn't just include Midget and the sling, but both sides of my top as well, so I was basically just wearing a bra (and a baby!) at the front.<br /><br />At least it was a clean one.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-62261359449939136632009-04-22T22:36:00.003+09:302009-04-22T23:05:37.068+09:30Midget is 1!I no longer have a little baby :( But she is so much fun (the velcro has loosened a little).<br />She:<br /><ul><li>Is walking quite well, it's now her preferred method of getting around except if she's in a hurry (ie I'm out of sight!).</li><li>Has no words but has two signs, feed and finished! Given Widget's speech delay this is very exciting. She's been doing them appropriately if reminded for a few days (ie if I make the feed sign and she doesn't want one she ignores it, but if she does want one she copies it). But today she did both of them spontaneously and appropriately. We were out at the shops and she looked me in the eye and asked for a feed, and later on she let go and sat up, looked at me and signed finished :D :D :D :D :D</li><li>Has amazing comprehension (to me, it's probably completely normal but it's a shock to realise your baby understands you IYKWIM). She was trying to climb off something forwards today and I told her to turn around, she looked at me, spun around and tried to climb off the other side. Not quite what I meant.</li><li>Hugs and kisses. Aaaaaaaw.</li><li>Knows exactly how things work. Give her a bottle and she tries to twist the lid. Give her a tin and she goes for the pull on top. Yesterday we played with shaving cream, today she picked up the can, held it correctly and was 'writing' on the wall with it, then rubbing her other hand over that spot to spread it out.</li><li>Brushes my hair and feeds me.</li><li>Insists on feeding herself, and won't drink from any of the spill proof water bottles. She only wants the ones Widget uses. Sigh.</li><li>Thinks the red dust out the back is a wonderful food. She actually found a spoon this morning and was hoeing in with it.</li><li>Is still a horrendous sleeper.</li><li>Scribbles on the whiteboard and tries to draw on paper.</li><li>Points!</li><li>Likes using the potty, we generally get the first wee of the morning and then it depends on my timing or how busy we are. She reads on the potty.</li></ul><p>When Widget snuggled into bed this morning she solemnly told me that Midget was only little and didn't know how to blow out candles yet, so she would have to teach her. She made and decorated a wonderful cake for her.</p>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-57049143841141996362009-04-18T19:03:00.003+09:302009-04-18T21:28:23.696+09:30Well I've been told!Midget's communication is coming on in leaps and bounds. <br /><br />Today in the car she woke up after a long sleep and there was a scramble to find something to keep her in a good mood while she adjusted. After trying several things DH put a toy with a button on top on the centre console in front of her and pushed it, so it spun around. She liked this and was quite enjoying it, and the little arm started flapping up and down as if she was pushing the button.<br /><br />I tried moving it to her lap and was soundly told off, she pushed and kicked it away. So I put it down on the floor and started looking for something else. All of a sudden a little arm was pushing me and pointing down, and "Aaaah aaah aaah!" I picked it up again and offered it to her, but an imperious hand pointed at the centre console.<br /><br />I meekly put it back and hit the button again, and peace reigned for a few minutes.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-41302622240287792692009-04-14T23:12:00.002+09:302009-04-14T23:28:23.705+09:30I'm not a piece of furniture!!!!I don't know, maybe I'm very permissive and my kids get away with murder. <br /><br />Maybe I have extremely well bonded children who love me very much.<br /><br />Maybe my children's love language is touch, and they want to show me how much they love me.<br /><br />Maybe they are sensitive little souls and need lots of reassurance.<br /><br />But I seem to have one or other of them attached to me 24/7.<br /><br />Midget is at least starting to sleep on a mattress on the floor, so there are a couple of hours after she first goes to sleep at night, then she is in with us. She is having extreme separation anxiety, all perfectly understandable when she has been taken to a strange place and is meeting a lot of strange people, but she cries whenever she is out of my arms. I mean she cries if I put her down at my feet to turn on a tap. She cries if Daddy is holding her and I am out of sight. She cries if I am sitting next to her on the ground but not actually holding her! There is some playing in between, but it doesn't feel like very much.<br /><br />And when she does let go to play, Widget grabs hold. I don't mind giving her cuddles because of the endless round of trips and scrapes, I don't mind the feeds and I don't mind her sitting on my lap if she asks. It is when she sits next to me but half on top of me and starts wiggling over, so I end up squashed. Or I'm in the middle of eating or doing something and she will try to climb onto my lap. And God forbid that I try to go to the toilet.<br /><br />It's nothing major, just the constancy wearing me down. And the bit that worries me is that I don't feel like I've had a break. DH is understandably caught up with his father at the moment, and we are spending as much time with them as we can. And it doesn't really feel like a holiday with everything that's happening. But at the back of my mind there's a little worry that we're almost going home, then it's back into it until July. <br /><br />I just hope that being back home will mean the girls are a bit more settled and I become a human again, rather than a piece of the furniture.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-72633714639810861722009-04-11T23:23:00.003+09:302009-04-11T23:32:24.628+09:30Little MirrorsYou learn so much about yourself with little children. Yes the big things, like your priorities and values, but also the little every day things you never noticed.<br /><br /><ul><li>I brush my teeth in the shower, and thanks to Widget I know I rinse the brush several times.</li><li>When getting very frustrated I put my hands over my face and take a deep breath (Widget).</li><li>The next step is to point with both hands, a bit like a goal umpire (Widget again).</li><li>I drink far too many cans (Midget, she goes straight for the little ring pull on top).</li><li>I like using a particular brand of water bottle (Midget).</li><li>I brush my hair back from my forehead when thinking (Midget).</li></ul>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-58966653223852583262009-04-06T22:14:00.000+09:302009-04-06T22:16:15.355+09:30SjeDebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-69005575250370238852009-04-01T17:44:00.003+09:302009-04-01T18:02:59.726+09:30Muco-purulent DischargeI have a lovely little book called <span style="color:#000066;">"Does Anything Eat Wasps?"</span> It is a selection of questions and answers from <span style="color:#000066;">"The Last Word"</span> in <span style="color:#000066;">New Scientist</span> magazine. This is where anyone can send in any puzzling question, and readers try to answer it. It has even sparked university research.<br /><br />One of the questions was about the little yellow crusty bits in your eyes, commonly known as sleep or sand (can you see where this is going?) and whether they had a real name. It turns out that they are a very dilute mix of mucous and pus. This is the protective coating of your eye, the mucous lubricates it and the pus is lots of white blood cells to eat any bacteria or dirt. It drains down the tear duct, but if for some reason there is too much or an infection it can't all drain away and evaporates, leaving the lovely yellow bits. Up until now it hasn't had a real name, but the consensus of readers was that it was a 'muco-purulent discharge.'<br /><br />We have been learning all about it. I had never actually had conjunctivitis myself, but Widget picked it up somehow. We seemed to get rid of it with eye drops, but obviously stopped too soon and it came back. Then she passed it to me, and finally Midget. So more than two weeks later we are still doing the eye drop thing, because I'm not game to stop until we've all been clear eyed for a few days. <br /><br />The interesting thing is that when your eyes are all inflamed the drops aren't too bad, but when they clear up it really stings. Obviously the thick protective gunk isn't just a nuisance, it does protect your eyes. Isn't it nice that parenting gives you the opportunity for wonderful little observations like that?Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9178947631573972104.post-24071761905699826832009-03-30T17:22:00.002+09:302009-03-30T17:32:26.301+09:30Learning to feed at 2 years oldI just submitted this to an amazing site called <a href="http://ibreastfed.com/">ibreastfed</a>. It's a non-profit collection of inspirational breastfeeding stories, ranging from very simple to awesome. I think part of the goal is not just to share triumphs, but to normalise breastfeeding. We all know it is natural, but so many people seem to think that means it is easy. It is a learned skill, just like walking, and it comes with it's own share of pitfalls. But they can almost always be overcome with the right support. So by showing that all sorts of people have all sorts of problems it can help new Mums to realise that it isn't the end of the world if they have thrush, or grazes, or their baby wants to feed every 45 minutes (hello Midget).<br /><br />After a few problems with jaundice and oversupply, Molly was a fantastic feeder. In fact she was a little addict who would happily have skipped solids altogether, snacking away into her second year. I had to wean when we were trying for a second baby, but we took it very slowly (in the end it took 10 months!) and it was fairly peaceful and pleasant. I was glad because I didn’t want to tandem feed.<br /><br />When I was about 3 months pregnant and she had been weaned for 4 or 5 months, she asked for a feed again. She had forgotten how to breastfeed and was trying to suck like a straw, plus by that time I only had colostrum. So it was quick and a bit painful and I didn’t think much about it. A few days later she wanted to do it again, and from then on it got more frequent. Sometimes she’d go a week without asking, then it would be constant for a few days. I could see that it was only going to happen more when she saw the new baby feeding, and decided that we would have to re-learn to do it properly.<br /><br />She was squashing my nipple just like a newborn, so I decided to go back to the beginning. We practiced opening her mouth as wide as she could, and sticking her tongue out over her bottom teeth. We made it into a game and would stick our tongues out at each other.<br /><br />After she was attaching in the right place, she had to learn to suck again. I knew that newborns have a lot of jaw movement, so we practiced opening and closing her jaws. At first I would sit her in front of me and she would do the big mouth and tongue and I would move her jaw up and down, then we would swap places. Then she would attach and I would move her chin up and down while she was trying to suck. Then she would try it on her own. So over a few weeks we got to the point that she could suck again. It was always a bit painful, but I was never sure if that was because of what she was doing or if it was because I was pregnant and only had colostrum. We developed a rule that she could only have one feed a day and only one side, so each nipple was only being used every second day.<br /><br />Once we had the physical side of feeding sorted and it became regular again, I was hit with breastfeeding aversion. In the immortal words of a counsellor, if I were a cow I would have kicked her in the head. Even the thought of feeding made me tense up, I hated everything about it. It made me feel sick I was so tense, and I hated the way it made me snap at her. I seriously considered weaning, but we had come so far I felt it would be too mean to take it away from her again. I could see how important it was for her, so I gritted my teeth and trusted that I would be fine with the new baby.<br /><br />When Joanna was born she fed like a dream and I enjoyed it. She seemed to be born knowing how to attach and suck, and I never even got a sore nipple from her seven and eight hour feeding marathons in the first couple of days. I had chosen to stay in hospital for a few days, and one of the reasons was I wanted to get Joanna’s feeding established without Molly constantly asking to feed. I was so relieved when I went home and Molly’s first feed was painless, although I still hated doing it. <br /><br />There were lots of tears and tantrums because she went back to wanting to feed all the time, but looking back that only lasted a few weeks before she accepted that there were limits. The aversion lasted much longer, it was probably 5 months before it went and I still don’t have much patience for her. I had to really concentrate on relaxing and make sure I was comfortable and had something to do like a book. <br /><br />A year later she has her special time in the morning, she comes and snuggles into bed and has a feed before we get up. I never thought I would still be feeding her at three and a half, but it is so useful. When she is sick or tired or out of sorts the magic boobies still work, and I love our special cuddles. I’m really glad we worked through it and she can still do something that is obviously so important to her.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14051786523722598002noreply@blogger.com1